As soon as i heard the words I was not expecting, my heart stopped and
the tears flowed. “You will never be able to bare children.” i sat
there and envisioned what life might be like for me.
This was
the hardest thing for me to accept because I was raised a fearless lion,
who has always made the impossible possible. And for the first time, I
felt I could not change something with my faith.
I learned to
accept things the way they were because it seemed pointless to think
about it. Since that day, nothing has been impossible. My life has
been extraordinary. The fortune I have built in my life has been
phenomenal. But still, there are days where I wonder what kind of
mother I would have been…
The other day, I was talking with my
mother and she said something so meaningful to me that I felt that same
type of heart-stopping feeling and again, tears stained my face. She
said, “All the experience gained from this life time will a good mother
make you in the next”
My mother and I have come a long way in our relationship. I treasure her for the great woman she doesn’t even know she is.
What a lovely thought for all women who cannot bare children. We’re in training to be good mothers in our next life time.
Thanks Mom!
Monday, December 9, 2013
Thursday, October 4, 2012
The Girl with the White Gloves
I could use your help actually...you see, soon after I arrived in Canada, the Eczema I had as a child resurfaced, but this time it made its way to my fingers. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Eczema, it is a skin condition/disease. No matter which part of the skin is affected, eczema is almost always itchy. Sometimes the itching will start before the rash appears, but when it does the rash most commonly occurs on the face, back of the knees, wrists, hands, or feet. It may also affect other areas as well.
Affected areas usually appear very dry, thickened, scaly and appears red and sore from the scratching and/or scalding hot water (sometimes the water is the only way to satisfy the itch, but it's so bad and adds to the problem), In infants, the itchy rash can produce an oozing, crusting condition that occurs mainly on the face and scalp, but patches may appear anywhere.
Anyway, I have been to the Dr. and eventually ended up in a Dermatologist's office and have tried numerous treatments, creams and ointments, but it's still hanging on to me. I am coping with the external symptoms, including putting ointment on and cotton gloves while I sleep at night. Wearing the gloves does dull the symptoms a little, as well as hides the appearance from others I come in contact with, so I will frequently wear the white gloves when I am out as well.
The funny thing is, people cannot seem to refrain from commenting and joking about my white gloves. I have heard the following:
SIDE NOTE: You may not know this about me: I am a singer in a band and am known as, "The Girl with the White Gloves." Now as far as that goes, I think it is cool to have a recognizable trademark ~wink~
*cheers*
Affected areas usually appear very dry, thickened, scaly and appears red and sore from the scratching and/or scalding hot water (sometimes the water is the only way to satisfy the itch, but it's so bad and adds to the problem), In infants, the itchy rash can produce an oozing, crusting condition that occurs mainly on the face and scalp, but patches may appear anywhere.
Anyway, I have been to the Dr. and eventually ended up in a Dermatologist's office and have tried numerous treatments, creams and ointments, but it's still hanging on to me. I am coping with the external symptoms, including putting ointment on and cotton gloves while I sleep at night. Wearing the gloves does dull the symptoms a little, as well as hides the appearance from others I come in contact with, so I will frequently wear the white gloves when I am out as well.
The funny thing is, people cannot seem to refrain from commenting and joking about my white gloves. I have heard the following:
- Say hello to Mickey Mouse for me, will ya Minnie?
- Michael Jackson only wore a glove on one hand (and is dead)!
- Well, if it isn't Snow White...where are your dwarfs?
- Aren't you a tad old to be going to the prom?
- I am a hand model and my contract states I cannot expose my hands to the environment...
- I have a Royal bloodline and am not permitted to show my hands to anyone but my King!
- My hands are way too sexy and have been known to cause traffic accidents :)
- I AM Snow White!
SIDE NOTE: You may not know this about me: I am a singer in a band and am known as, "The Girl with the White Gloves." Now as far as that goes, I think it is cool to have a recognizable trademark ~wink~
*cheers*
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Winter never fails to turn into Spring
Spring has a deep meaning for me personally. It not only means that
Winter has ended, as guaranteed each year, but it is a symbol that life
is ever changing, along with our circumstances. Winter represents the
problems we face...the situations we want to change...the life which
some wish to escape due to it being so unbearable. The mere fact that
Winter never fails to turn into Spring is comforting, for it means that
no matter how difficult our present is, it will eventually change, just
as Winter never fails to turn into Spring. This thinking has been with
me my whole life and allows me to fight through any obstacles, ever
emerging the victor in my life. It gives me eternal hope for the
future. It fills each day with the possibility that it could be the day
that turns my dreams into reality. The possibility that this could be
one of the best days ever had, if we just don't prejudge it.
For
those going through hard times right now, please know that Winter never
fails to turn into Spring...keep hope alive that the Sun will shine
again for you...your flower will bloom, your wings will spread...and
you will soar.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Red Light (Shoten Zenjin)
I use this as a term for things that occur in our lives that appear
to be a negative to illustrate the protection by the Shoten Zenjin (The
protective forces of nature some refer to as Guardian Angels).
When one encounters an obstacle, it is usually seen for what it is, but WHAT IF it is the way we receive protection from the Shoten Zenjin?
It is my belief that when things occur to change the direction of our thoughts or paths, we are being protected by the universe itself - allow me to explain...
Take an actual red light for instance: Did you ever think that you were stopped by a red light to prevent you from being
ahead of your proposed fate? Perhaps you are being protected, changing your destiny or karma. WHAT IF you stepped on the gas, taking you ahead and right into danger? I try to practice what we commonly call, "Going With The Flow" and not stressing about being late for what ever you are on your way to.
In another example, perhaps you've been looking forward to an event or a move to a different city and it changed, leaving you very disappointed, as you were really looking forward to it. WHAT IF there were unforeseen dangerous events that would have taken place that you are being protected from?
Life is full of WHAT IF'S, true, but WHAT IF it is true?
Life runs concurrent with the Mystic Law of the universe and I, for one, will do my best to accept the "Red Lights" that are placed in front of me. This is not to say that I won't challenge every obstacle, fight against injustice or take any BS (lol), for I am a Bodhisatvah of the Earth, I am a Lion: hear me roar: NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO!
When one encounters an obstacle, it is usually seen for what it is, but WHAT IF it is the way we receive protection from the Shoten Zenjin?
It is my belief that when things occur to change the direction of our thoughts or paths, we are being protected by the universe itself - allow me to explain...
Take an actual red light for instance: Did you ever think that you were stopped by a red light to prevent you from being
ahead of your proposed fate? Perhaps you are being protected, changing your destiny or karma. WHAT IF you stepped on the gas, taking you ahead and right into danger? I try to practice what we commonly call, "Going With The Flow" and not stressing about being late for what ever you are on your way to.
In another example, perhaps you've been looking forward to an event or a move to a different city and it changed, leaving you very disappointed, as you were really looking forward to it. WHAT IF there were unforeseen dangerous events that would have taken place that you are being protected from?
Life is full of WHAT IF'S, true, but WHAT IF it is true?
Life runs concurrent with the Mystic Law of the universe and I, for one, will do my best to accept the "Red Lights" that are placed in front of me. This is not to say that I won't challenge every obstacle, fight against injustice or take any BS (lol), for I am a Bodhisatvah of the Earth, I am a Lion: hear me roar: NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO!
Lessons Learned: The Key
Lessons and tests of character can be learned (or failed for lack of a
better word) in every day settings by anyone, when you least expect
it.
For example:
The other day, my Mother and I spent the day together. We shopped and ate and the day was getting long and we were getting tired and ready to go our separate ways for the day, but for one last task we had to complete: the making of a key.
After shopping and waiting in line at Wal-Mart for other things, I asked the clerk where I could get a key made, to which she replied, "Down at the far corner of the store in the Automotive section. I asked if I could leave my cart of already purchased goods there while my Mother (who was in an electric driving cart to save her from all the walking) and I started for the far corner of the store and finally reached it.
"May I help you?" said the clerk behind the counter. This was a friendly looking gentleman who possessed a warm smile. "I would like to have a copy of a key made please, I said." He replied, "Oh, we don't do that here anymore." My anger grew inside when I said, "But I was sent here by the cashier up front, as well as 2 other associates I passed along the way to your section." He asked me if I knew their names, which made the feeling inside grow deeper: "No, I did not get their names." I sighed pretty loudly when the man said, "Well, I guess I better make a copy of that key for you after all then." He smiled, proudly revealing that he was joking around with me. This was the point where I decided how to handle myself. I could get angry with him for frustrating me or I could smile and get through this last task.
I simply said, "It's been a long day and am not much in the mood for jokes Sir." He finished the key, I thanked him, and off I and my Mother went.
Even the smallest of challenges of how we react to things is important...important enough to make me think about it and write this note *wink*
Lesson learned...I may not have handled it the way I would have preferred, but the next time something similar occurs, I will reflect for a moment and respond differently!
For example:
The other day, my Mother and I spent the day together. We shopped and ate and the day was getting long and we were getting tired and ready to go our separate ways for the day, but for one last task we had to complete: the making of a key.
After shopping and waiting in line at Wal-Mart for other things, I asked the clerk where I could get a key made, to which she replied, "Down at the far corner of the store in the Automotive section. I asked if I could leave my cart of already purchased goods there while my Mother (who was in an electric driving cart to save her from all the walking) and I started for the far corner of the store and finally reached it.
"May I help you?" said the clerk behind the counter. This was a friendly looking gentleman who possessed a warm smile. "I would like to have a copy of a key made please, I said." He replied, "Oh, we don't do that here anymore." My anger grew inside when I said, "But I was sent here by the cashier up front, as well as 2 other associates I passed along the way to your section." He asked me if I knew their names, which made the feeling inside grow deeper: "No, I did not get their names." I sighed pretty loudly when the man said, "Well, I guess I better make a copy of that key for you after all then." He smiled, proudly revealing that he was joking around with me. This was the point where I decided how to handle myself. I could get angry with him for frustrating me or I could smile and get through this last task.
I simply said, "It's been a long day and am not much in the mood for jokes Sir." He finished the key, I thanked him, and off I and my Mother went.
Even the smallest of challenges of how we react to things is important...important enough to make me think about it and write this note *wink*
Lesson learned...I may not have handled it the way I would have preferred, but the next time something similar occurs, I will reflect for a moment and respond differently!
State of Mind
It is incredible how the mind can control us: our bodies, our moods, our perception...
You've heard that age is a state of mind...how about the week day?
Today is Friday...are you feeling relieved that the week is over and the weekend is on the horizon? Excitement filling your chest as a ready-to-party mood takes hold of you? I love the Friday feeling, not to mention the Saturday night feeling *grins*
Some may think I am a freak of nature with my beliefs, but they work for me. For the longest time, I wake up every day (including Mondays - lol) and tell my brain: It's Friday! And when the Sun goes down, I tell my brain: It's Saturday night!
How awesome would it be to feel like every day is Friday and every night is Saturday night? For me, it is...it can be for you too - state of mind peeps, state of mind!
You've heard that age is a state of mind...how about the week day?
Today is Friday...are you feeling relieved that the week is over and the weekend is on the horizon? Excitement filling your chest as a ready-to-party mood takes hold of you? I love the Friday feeling, not to mention the Saturday night feeling *grins*
Some may think I am a freak of nature with my beliefs, but they work for me. For the longest time, I wake up every day (including Mondays - lol) and tell my brain: It's Friday! And when the Sun goes down, I tell my brain: It's Saturday night!
How awesome would it be to feel like every day is Friday and every night is Saturday night? For me, it is...it can be for you too - state of mind peeps, state of mind!
What is Freedom?
The following statement is my opinion. It is how my mind works as
the result of being raised a Buddhist in America. From time to time,
thoughts enter my mind and I feel compelled to document them, so I can
make room for more thoughts (lol). This is what poured out of me this
morning...
Have you lived a life free of bad words, thoughts and/or actions? Of course not, as we are human beings and are just as capable of being bad as we are capable of being good. Have we always created value in our lives and the lives of others around us? We are a direct reflection of our environment, and as human beings, we react to the environment at the same time. Therefore, the saying of, "The things others say, think or do is their karma, and the way we react is our karma" is a correct and very difficult way to live ones life, but it is how the Bodhisattva's of the Earth choose to live.
So, when bad things happen to us, it can be argued that it is the result of karma catching up to us. The interesting part of that is, when one is faced with karma, it can present itself in good and bad ways. Sometimes, we wonder what we did to deserve a good or bad thing happening to us or someone close to us, or even to people or a country far removed from our immediate environment. When these things occur, I see it as an opportunity to challenge ourselves and break through the karma. In other words, we are given the chance to add or remove a link from our karma chain. These chains are strong though, so it takes great strength and courage to tackle them and win.
Buddhism is win or lose.
For example, if you are a student with an assignment to share a speech or an essay you wrote in public, but hate to speak in front of people, just by overcoming this fear and doing it, you've won. The end result of whether it went well or not does not determine the winning or losing, it is that you broke through the walls of self doubt and fear and without knowing it. you've grown. Taking it a step further, your speech has now affected others, positively or negatively and might even have assisted in a path-altering event for some. This is why it is very important to be aware of our Words, Thoughts and Actions, as they do not only produce an effect on our lives, but can have a profound effect on the lives of those in our environment.
Now then, let's talk about the word, "Choose" or "Choice." When we choose our Words, Thoughts and Actions, it should be known that there will be effects attached to them. To live with the knowledge that you are responsible for creating your karma chain, to then suffer what there is to suffer, and enjoy what there is to enjoy [as a result], regarding both as a part of life, this is what I refer to as Freedom.
Have you lived a life free of bad words, thoughts and/or actions? Of course not, as we are human beings and are just as capable of being bad as we are capable of being good. Have we always created value in our lives and the lives of others around us? We are a direct reflection of our environment, and as human beings, we react to the environment at the same time. Therefore, the saying of, "The things others say, think or do is their karma, and the way we react is our karma" is a correct and very difficult way to live ones life, but it is how the Bodhisattva's of the Earth choose to live.
So, when bad things happen to us, it can be argued that it is the result of karma catching up to us. The interesting part of that is, when one is faced with karma, it can present itself in good and bad ways. Sometimes, we wonder what we did to deserve a good or bad thing happening to us or someone close to us, or even to people or a country far removed from our immediate environment. When these things occur, I see it as an opportunity to challenge ourselves and break through the karma. In other words, we are given the chance to add or remove a link from our karma chain. These chains are strong though, so it takes great strength and courage to tackle them and win.
Buddhism is win or lose.
For example, if you are a student with an assignment to share a speech or an essay you wrote in public, but hate to speak in front of people, just by overcoming this fear and doing it, you've won. The end result of whether it went well or not does not determine the winning or losing, it is that you broke through the walls of self doubt and fear and without knowing it. you've grown. Taking it a step further, your speech has now affected others, positively or negatively and might even have assisted in a path-altering event for some. This is why it is very important to be aware of our Words, Thoughts and Actions, as they do not only produce an effect on our lives, but can have a profound effect on the lives of those in our environment.
Now then, let's talk about the word, "Choose" or "Choice." When we choose our Words, Thoughts and Actions, it should be known that there will be effects attached to them. To live with the knowledge that you are responsible for creating your karma chain, to then suffer what there is to suffer, and enjoy what there is to enjoy [as a result], regarding both as a part of life, this is what I refer to as Freedom.
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