The Girl with the White Gloves

I could use your help actually...you see, soon after I arrived in Canada, the Eczema I had as a child resurfaced, but this time it made its way to my fingers.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Eczema, it is a skin condition/disease.  No matter which part of the skin is affected, eczema is almost always itchy. Sometimes the itching will start before the rash appears, but when it does the rash most commonly occurs on the face, back of the knees, wrists, hands, or feet. It may also affect other areas as well. 

Affected areas usually appear very dry, thickened, scaly and appears red and sore from the scratching and/or scalding hot water (sometimes the water is the only way to satisfy the itch, but it's so bad and adds to the problem), In infants, the itchy rash can produce an oozing, crusting condition that occurs mainly on the face and scalp, but patches may appear anywhere.

Anyway, I have been to the Dr. and eventually ended up in a Dermatologist's office and have tried numerous treatments, creams and ointments, but it's still hanging on to me.  I am coping with the external symptoms,  including putting ointment on and cotton gloves while I sleep at night.  Wearing the gloves does dull the symptoms a little, as well as hides the appearance from others I come in contact with, so I will frequently wear the white gloves when I am out as well.

The funny thing is, people cannot seem to refrain from commenting and joking about my white gloves.  I have heard the following:

• Say hello to Mickey Mouse for me, will ya Minnie?
• Michael Jackson only wore a glove on one hand (and is dead)!
• Well, if it isn't Snow White...where are your dwarfs?
• Aren't you a tad old to be going to the prom?

Now, I realize that the above is funny, but it gets tiresome after a while, so I started to make up a few come-backs, like these:

• I am a hand model and my contract states I cannot expose my hands to the environment...
• I have a Royal bloodline and am not permitted to show my hands to anyone but my King!
• My hands are way too sexy and have been known to cause traffic accidents :)
• I AM Snow White!

So, until my fingers actually clear up, I am going to have to keep coming up with new come-backs - this is where I could use your help...can you think of any good ones for me to use?  If so, please reply with them (and thanks!)

SIDE NOTE:  You may not know this about me:  I am a singer in a band and am known as, "The Girl with the White Gloves."  Now as far as that goes, I think it is cool to have a recognizable trademark ~wink~

*cheers*